A feeding journey......

It didn’t work out for me, but that’s ok ..

July 2017

Antenatal classes began, we learnt new things, we felt prepared and we made friends, little did I know that these ladies would become a lifeline for the first 10 months of maternity leave and motherhood. But that’s a topic for next time.

I naively felt that everything would just work; breastfeeding would just happen, right?

September 2017  

On the 28th of September 2017 she arrived. The most beautiful little baby girl that I have ever seen (I think it is safe to say that we are all a little bit biased). It was the most exhilarating and exhausting experience of my life, but my goodness was worth it.  

We stayed in the hospital overnight as I wasn’t ready to leave the bubble. I lacked confidence in breast feeding, so having that support was great. The time came to leave the hospital and enter the real world. A world that I thought would feel the same but somehow didn’t.  

The emotional, physical toll

It wasn’t working. For whatever reason, it could have been me; it could have been her, but it just was not working. I endured 3 days of not feeling myself and not wanting to see anyone. I vividly remember parking near a friend at the supermarket on a trip back from the hospital and hiding because I was not ready for social interaction. Midnight on day 3 hit and neither

one of us was happy. In hindsight, my husband could probably be included in this too. He didn’t enjoy the tears, the worry and the sadness. I needed to feed my baby but at this time, it just felt too much.  

My short breastfeeding journey came to an end, and that was ok.  

For some, this decision can often be surrounded by guilt, or the feeling that you must justify ** yourself. You don’t. I began to realise that breastfeeding was costing me more than it was giving. Not just physically, but emotionally. I wasn’t enjoying feeding my baby, and it wasn’t the way I imagined it would be.

It is important to remember that it isn’t a measure of love, effort, or worth.  There is no failure in recognising your limits. There is no shame in choosing what works for your family.  

The calm after the storm

Once I allowed myself to choose a different path, feeding became calmer. I woke up feeling like a new woman, ready to connect with family and friends and be proud of this beautiful baby girl that we had created.  

From a lunch at Wetherspoons to a shared vision

Fast forward a few years and another baby in the mix .

Phillipa and I met for lunch at Wetherspoons. This wasn’t unusual; we were running nurseries together and often chose to meet away from the usual distractions. This time, the conversation was different. It was open and honest, giving us the space to talk about the challenges we had each faced when bringing our daughters into the world.

Motherhood can be incredibly rewarding, but it can also be very isolating. Often mums carry their worries quietly, unsure of where or even whether they are allowed to voice them.

From those conversations, Eli House was created. A calm, welcoming and friendly space where mums quickly realise they are not alone. A place where they can hear others speak openly about sleepless nights, feeding challenges, relationship strain and mental health struggles, without judgement.